Jun 20, 2007

Where My Girls At?

"Girls cause too much drama, that's why I only have guy friends."

"Women have wronged me in the past, that's why I don't get close to anyone."

"Girls are too catty, I don't like being around them."

How many times have I heard these statements? Maybe a good handful of people have said that to me. I have never understood it. Because as I do acknowledge some females can be catty, I see it as immaturity, or having low-self esteem, and in life what you could do is simply choose your friends wisely. Plus...sometimes I may have my moments too. RRrrow!

Personally for me, the most fulfilling times, are those "girls night out" evenings. Where we eat, laugh, act silly, even tearfully share something personal - but always leave happy. We women have to go through a lot nowadays, but knowing that someone has been there, done that and can share helpful insights to help you get through a hard time? Priceless. I love hearing experiences of older women, because some of them went through hardships that I can't even imagine. It even makes you respect them more. And in life, we are sometimes so short-sighted, that we can't see the whole picture. It helps when you have someone there to remind you of that. Having an older friend can also make you more patient, and I know I've learned not to react to things as quickly as I did before! It's not always the end of the world!

Sometimes, there are no major issues to talk about. Spending a light-hearted time with women is just as fun. Sometimes you didn't know you had something in common with someone else. They can even help you avoid mistakes they've made in the past. Even if someone else is a mother, and you are in a totally different stage in your life, you may gain a lot of insights from just being around them. And one day, you may be in the same boat! With younger women, you may be able to help them with what they're going through. And just because you are a bit older, doesn't mean you have nothing in common. Pay it forward, give advice that has helped you.

So here's my two cents:
  • Never isolate yourself, because you are never alone.
  • Appreciate the insights you can gain from women.
  • Always make time for older and younger women.
  • Shed the "image" and be vulnerable. None of us are perfect!
  • Draw strength from sisterly support


  • Think positive. Instead of thinking of something critical, train your mind to think of something positive and complement her on it. You'll feel 100 times better than internally dissing her outfit and you'll lose the catty trait you hate so much.


k said...

i think close female relationships by their very nature tend to be fulfilling but I always wondered if with marriage they would start to be considered sub-par. the more married women I talk to, though, the more it becomes apparent that despite being married women seem to still turn to their female friends to fulfill an emotional quota... Another point to dismantle the "marriage as cure-all" fallacy...

Good post, Marie!

Gata said...

Guys can be just as catty as girls sometimes, so that's not a good excuse.

It's true, widening out is a wise move. Getting to know women of varying ages is a good suggestion. Thanks for the encouragement! (hope I wasn't included in the "older women" category... ;)

Bonnie said...

A group of seven of us had a girls night/slumber party on Saturday to Sunday, and it was SO much fun. We danced, had pina coladas, dressed up in fancy Indian clothes and took pictures and watched Sense and Sensibility. In the morning, we had a nice brunc, then did some service and went to the meeting.
Girl time is important and refreshing.

.:.marie.:. said...

Sounds like fun, Bon!

Gata said...

Oh boy Bon - can I have brunc at your house? ;,)

Bonnie said...

Gata's a dumbbutt.

stevie- mono no aware said...

I like this post. It shows your advancement. So much of what u said is true. and from a former woman who liked the company of men...i have gone a full 180 over the past few years.
Woman have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much more to offer, that men can and will never grasp. Too, I have concluded that at times the feign understanding where we are coming from and so are really not on par with us.
Woman of substance sans catty traits are becoming more obvious and once you understand that we all are insecure and fragile...even the most catty girl can have something to bring to the table.
the older I get the more i even want those girly things that i was really not into in my younger years. I mean...how many men can u go to a day spa with , chit chat about this and that and even share silence and then undo all your spa suffering with a womderful sublime piece of chocolate . and browsing local shops without a rush....
hmmmmmmmmmm...unless they were men who wish they were woman...i don't know any.

girl friends are precious kinfolk who share the same sense and sensibilities of each other.
and whether married or not...they are irreplaceable.