Nov 2, 2006

Tantrums & Self-Absorbness

Whenever I'm feeling emotional, why does it get construed as being self-absorbed? Yeah, it's true - we all have selfishness inside us, but why must we always be seen in a negative light? What ever happened to BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT? And I just LOVE when you tell someone what the problem is, and they look at you like that's not really the problem, but some BIGGER problem - like they don't believe you when you say, "No, I'm just feeling this way because of blah blah blah" then they say, NO, you were just throwing a tantrum because of___(insert selfish reason here)____. And you're like NOOOOO, that's not it! They get you wrong, and then you're like forget it! Only God knows what I'm really feeling inside--who cares if you don't believe me or not?!?

It's exhausting. Sorry for venting. Sometimes we are just looking for a little bit of sympathy and you expect someone to be sympathetic and you get the opposite. I should just stop myself and remember the "pathetic" in sympathetic.


k said...

I think we all put on masks in one form or another (not masks as in two-faced masks, but the surface stuff that helps us deal with day-to-day living). We're all aware of it, and yet obsessed with "de-masking" the other person that we sometimes construe what's underneath (the revealed emotions, the "tantrum") as being more complex then it really is. It's amazing all the imagined fondnesses and imagined problems that can be created between our hearts and the actual events as they unfold before us. Leave it to human folly. I know I'm guilty of such.

Stevie ~ mono no aware said...

Hey...don't be so hard on yourself...and minimize it into being pathetic. "U are woman hear you roar." (thats an old song)
Its so true...Us humans are too short sighted when it comes to grasping anothers disposition. The older I get the more I am realizing the best advise is silence. I am sure that whom ever you speak of was probably trying to help you...more so in the style of a man...who seeks solutions rather then to emphatize.
Take reassurance in knowing, " the same things you are suffering, woman around the world are as well." Girl power...and tears and lavender baths and solitude and music.

.:.marie.:. said...

K, I like the way you think. It seems like I was just taking in emotional garble, and you just translated for me. HA HA HA!

So true, we put on masks and think we can de-mask eachother.

Stevie, I love your advice of silence. I think we all believe we have to speak what's in our hearts all the time, but we really don't. Theres a scripture that says: "Even anyone foolish, when keeping silent, will be regarded as wise; anyone closing up his own lips, as having understanding." Tears, baths, solitude & music. All soothing things we can do to quiet our brains (and look wise too). :)

BonBon said...

Wow I really appreciated all of you girls' thoughts.
We can't read anyone else's heart, which is probably a good thing, but also frustrating. Sometimes we just wanna be understood exactly, and we're misunderstood: how annoying.
Sometimes, when I read a scripture (including the one Marie quoted-awesome wisdom) I understand the truth of Heb 4:12 and I know my heart is being read by the Author. It's complete Understanding.
Marie, please don't feel pathetic wanting a little sympathy sometimes. We all want sympathy (Job 42:11 is a scriptural basis for the need for it.) Hey, you know what goes great w/sympathy...Tea! ;) Love you!!!

Gata said...

Note to anyone dealing with the female temperament: hug first, ask questions later. We need the emotional assurance, and once we feel comforted, a little attempt at reasoning and analysis is ok. Time for the heart first, then the head.

k said...

WORD, GATA!!!!!!!