Some "Feel Good" Advice

Listen to music by a pop star you would never admit to liking

Schedule a girl's night out - and party like it's 1999

Be your own therapist

Spend some time alone - and enjoy it

Find out what your personality flaws are and work on them

Pour over old pictures and memories once in a while

Lucky jeans are worth every darn penny! (I'm not into status symbol clothing, but if you ever get a chance to snag a pair on sale, you will thank me!)

Can't think of anything else at the moment...

My baby, Isabel. When she closes her eyes, her face disappears.



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Bought these boots recently. Shoot, Ima wear 'em in Florida!
I don't care if it's 90 degrees.

"Village Girl"

My boss said I looked like a "Village Girl" today. I guess I am wearing a fairly trendy outfit. (A tank w/ a short grey cable sweater with a antiqued jean mermaid skirt). It took me back to Junior High School when I saw these hispanic girls fighting, and the "big insult" was one calling the other a "village girl". How dumb.

Who the heck would want to live here???

Tractor trailer turned over in the Palm Beach Mall parking lot:


Marina by Riviera Beach (our town):


Construction site at Riviera Beach:


Lines for gas in Palm Beach Gardens:


Congress Avenue:


Gas Station on Belvedere Road:


Street on West Palm Beach:


Trailer in shambles in Riviera Beach:


All these pictures are in Palm Beach County, all in our neighborhood or nearby surrounding areas. We have NO shutters up, so imagine the anxiety. We are having somebody drive by the house today to take a look...

Who'd want to live here? Ha ha.

Brrrrr

The weather is cooler, heck. It's cold now. Daylight savings time ends this weekend...the rain...the cold...aaaagggghhh.

This weather is getting me down. Last year, I had the winter blues - big time. I'm probably going to stick around a bit longer, so I hope I don't have a repeat of last year's episode. I remember not feeling like myself...and looking back now, I wonder if I ever felt like myself again.

The stress of the holiday season at work brought on anxiety and panic. I was a real wreck. Funny how I thought I had problems. Your problems always seem smaller when bigger problems sit on top of it.

So for those who experience pitfalls in life; to all those who just can't see a light in the end of the tunnel...don't worry, it will get worse.

Enough pessimistic ideas, let me talk to you like a self-help book:

Life is a journey, and your happiness depends on you. Life may be bumpy, but take the time to enjoy the ride...

Had enough of that crap? I thought so.

On a positive note, I now live at my grandma's one bedroom apartment with 3-5 other people. I got the bedroom...and I have a really nice curtain for a door. My 2 cats don't really like my aunt's Maltese dog, but he doesn't stay all the time. And oh yeah, parking's a joy.

"Stuffed"

We have put the majority of our stuff in storage. It's all too real for me now! Sob sob.

Leaving this house will be bittersweet. But not for the reasons I imagined.

It's always sad to bring a chapter of your life to a close. I'm not ready for the next chapter. Too many unknowns. Sometimes I like predictability.

--

On another note, I made a slammin fettucine alfredo w/ chicken. My 2nd time, and it came out even better than the first. My advice, don't use your measuring cup. Eyeball it.

Cousins!

The little one (Brianna) is Filipino/Italian, Saskia is Filipino/French, and well...you know what I am.

Getting back into photography, yo!

I got into photography again.

I picked up a roll of black and white and went click happy around the neighborhood. I even snapped a shot of the crazy gas prices.

Photography for me is just the greatest hobby. It's capturing a moment in life. Whenever I see pictures of the past, I can remember the exact mood and even the way I thought back then...it's crazy.

I took a picture of the sky. When you think about it, you'll never see the same sky again.

Zenobia Muffin!

The clouds were dark and ominous. But behind all the swirling grey, I saw the bright blue sky.

puffy clouds
crisp air
bright sun
red balloon floating away
it was red
a red heart baloon

Uno...dos...tres...catorce!

I got three very cool things yesterday - one is a 60 gb ipod for my anniversary. As I held it in my hand I expected to hear music and turn into a black dancing sillouette...(that would be awesome). But it didn't happen. I still have yet to load music into it. One of the things I must listen to first, is that song by U2 in all the ipod commercials and "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet. Yep, that's how it has to be christened. Now...I'm just in love with it. I'm one of the ipod geeks now.

Anyway, I also was given the Zagat book for So. Florida. Cool, huh? Only those with a refined snobby NY palate will be able to appreciate this! Now I can find all the good eats. I must have access to a good Thai place...

And lastly I was given a beautiful bracelet. It has multicolored stones and is oh so dainty. I'm afraid I'm going to bang my wrist and break it as I did other bracelets, sadly. But they were cheap so I didn't care.

So that's the 3rd year anniversary present rundown. I had an wonderful time last night...eating my favorite pasta dish in Lighthouse park.

Happy Anniversary To Me!

August 17th, 2002

Today Makes 3 years - whoo hoo!

Corn-y Tea Pot!

Darn! I wish I could take the merits for that phrase, but I have to give credit to Gata for that one!

Below are some useless things found in a 99 Cents store!

Useless Figurine. OJ anybody?

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And last but not least, Mr & Mrs Wannabe Hello Kitty.

They updated Hello Kitty's look to look more....kissable...er....I guess.

And Mr. Hello Kitty has a mischievous smirk.

Stay tuned for our next show featuring more useless things from the 99 cents store!

Untitled

My intrusive and disturbing thoughts
are keeping me up and affecting my sleep
If just for one day, I long to be normal

I wish to drift into sweet ignorance
'Cause the way that I'm feeling it's making no sense
I fear life, I fear living, fear dying, I fear breathing

Somebody please save my tormented self - out of this hole
out of this prison that I locked myself in
I don't know where to start, don't know where to begin

Feeling so unhappy with my mind keeping me captive
I long to be freed...

A Message

My song is love

Love to the lovely shown

And it goes on

You don't have to be alone

Your heavy heart

Is made of stone

And its so hard to see you clearly

You don't have to be on your own

You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back

Well I'm not gonna say I don't mean that

Your the target that I'm aiming at

And I get that message home

My song is love

My song is love, unknown

And I'm on fire for you, clearly

You don't have to be alone

You don't have to be on your own

And I'm not gonna take it back

And I'm not gonna say I don't mean that

Your the target that I'm aiming at

But I'm nothing on my own

Got to get that message home

And I'm not gonna stand and wait

Not gonna leave it until its much too late

On a platform I'm gonna stand and say

That I'm nothing on my own

And I love you, please come home

My song is love, is love unknown And I've got to get that message home
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Back In The USSR

Well, back in NY now and sorta back into the swing of things.

My visit to Florida was okay...things didn't go so smooth but we did end up closing on the house in the end. Yea! I find myself mixed with so many emotions. I guess it's normal. I stayed in Miami. Miami's okay...just don't compare it to NY or I'll go off on you. This one guy said Miami was like New York, the city that never sleeps. I just stared at him with this blank look on my face. The heat is the thing that will be a little hard to deal with. But like anything, I think I would eventually get used to it. It's been hot these past couple of days in New York, but I've been unfazed by it.

The radio in Florida is not really my cup of tea. I think I need to crack down and get an IPod. In New York, we have Z100 which has a mix of today's pop, 95.5 has mostly 90's stuff, 106.7 has all the light sounds and 103.5 and 102.7 have dance/disco music. And of course there's Hot 97, a station that I never listen to and 92.3 KRock. In Florida, they have the Z100 equivalent. It's 100.7 or something. Anyway it sounds like Z100, except take out any rock songs. Not even pop rock. It's all hip hop. So it's hard to listen to for longer than 10 minutes. Their rock station consists of hard rock that's so hard it's not even cool. The radio stations there are lame. I'm going to have to get satellite radio or something, 'cause I'm gonna die. Not really.

Besides the radio situation, I don't think Florida will be too bad... They're building a lot around the neighborhood I'm moving into. And the conveniences are close by. Near my house they have Costco, (I love to stock up) Publix, (supermarket/drugstore) Home Depot, Lowes, Staples, Applebees, Blockbuster, and 3 strip malls which contain dry cleaners, hair salons, etc... And I haven't even explored that much! Oh yeah, Palm Beach Gardens Mall is close by too. Riviera Beach is nice...it's literally 10 minutes away. I think that will be a place for me to seek some solitude...until the heat gets out of hand and I want to go home. I still haven't gone to Palm Beach - it should be gorgeous.

It's going to be a major change for me. I've lived in New York all my life. It's going to be hard to be away from family and friends. I have to get used to driving everywhere. But I think it's going to be a growing experience. Having to transplant your life somewhere else is not easy. We have to make new friends, establish a routine of everyday life, and learn to be on your own completely. I'm going to miss NY terribly also. I love the mixed cultures, the food, and the craziness of life in general. For the first year I'm going to see a movie that has NY in it, and get filled with nostalgia and longing. There's something about the way NY is portrayed in the movies which makes it look so fun to be in NY. I'm going to certainly miss living in my house. I love my backyard and the whole set up. I really didn't mind living in the basement.

But change is good. It's just hard.

I'm flying, I'm really flying...Jack!

Ha ha...in case you've forgotton, this title was a Titanic reference.

Anyway, this Friday I had a flight to Ft. Lauderdale and I went all by myself. That day, I went home early from work, and packed last minute. The time flew and before I knew it, it was time to leave. I felt overwhelmed.

We got to the airport, and I was hungry but didn't have an appetite. I felt emotional...and it was time for me to go through security and say goodbye.

I went through security fine, and sat in my seat and waited. It was packed. Well, JetBlue is always packed. I waited nervously until it was time to board. I sat in seat 19D. I sat next to this woman and her child. The poor child had a tube through his head to drain liquid. And I found out soon after that they've been flying back and forth from Miami to New York for surgeries. I felt so bad.

So during the whole flight, I have to say, I did pretty well. I was quite okay. I watched tv a little, read a magazine, and towards the end I napped. I woke up in time for the plane's decent and I freshened up.

So I landed, feeling so excited for the things to come....

The walkthrough:

I was glad to point out all the things they had to touch up and finish. The house's condition was a little scary, but at least they have a couple of days to straighten up everything....

London Bridge Is Falling Down

I was saddened to hear of the bombing in London. I had fond memories of that place, and I was always thinking of returning there one day. It makes me sad to think that I will always be thinking "What if?" wherever I go. Well, one thing's for sure in this ever changing world - you are not safe anywhere. Time and unforseen occurance befalls us all. How true.

It's just unfortunate that londoners now carry the same fear we have in New York. And although we eventually get on with our lives, the fear of something happening is there - only burried in the back of our minds.